Maria Bamapana
Maria 'Madman' Bamapana
obiora.jpg
Portrayed By: Michael Obiora
Status: Alive
Age: 31
Occupation: Bar Owner/Chef
Theme Song: -
Quote: That's fucking amateur, man!
Alias: Formerly, Marduk
Powers: Cooking

Maria 'Madman' Bamapana is co-owner of The Pub, the main Supe hang-out in Lotus City. He also formulates The College's menu and teaches a single class there: Culinary Arts.

History

"Correct. He's gone. He's not coming back," the short woman in the beige suit replied.

"Are you sure? You saw this man, didn't you? Can you please describe him for us?" This from the other cop. The one with the flat ears and button nose.

"Yes, I did, but it's not like he did anything. It looked like they were trying to help. The first mugger left when they showed up. I think he thought that they would be more…dangerous than they were. The second one…the-"

"Mr. Repenski? The one we arrested, yes?"

"Yes, him." She hesitated, frowning. "I think it's probably just some kids. Inspired to idiocy by all these…these…" A pause, perhaps to re-phrase anything offensive. "…people in capes and what not. Everyone thinks they can be a super-hero these days. These guys, though…I think they might have had powers, but you'd have probably recognized it if you saw it. Amateurs. The one with the staff accidentally pantsed himself when he stumbled over a bottle, one ran away and fell into a trash can, and it finally took the third- the clueless mask, to take Repenski out. It looked like he might've killed the poor idiots, too, if he had gotten his gun out in time."

"So, what you're saying miss, is that you were saved by three amateur vigilantes who didn't really appear to know what they were doing?"

"Yes, officer, I believe that's it."

***

Who didn't want to be a super-hero, back then? The Scarlet Eagle charmed the world, and then all these other caped crusaders started appearing off the comics page and into reality like some twelve year old's wet dream. Talk about telling your kid not to jump out the window because he can't fly. What if his friend Tommy could, though? You see all the problems that caused. Maria was no different.

He was a Rucka Heights boy, but not in the way you'd think when you usually hear that. His family was well-to-do, for the progeny of immigrants. When you're a kid, every decision made is an epic tale, and so when Maria realized he wanted to become a super-hero it was a momentous day. Why didn't his parents see that the world was that much greener, the sky so much bluer? This optimism and other odd propmensities for idealistic and domestic things led his parents to believe he was a homosexual. Accordingly, they made sure he learned a martial art. He gave them a hard time with boxing, karate, and MMA until they finally compromised on getting private lessons from a medieval martial arts tutor. The phallic objects did not calm their worst fears.

In high school, he forgot the dream. Perhaps because his parents moved to Massachusetts. His priorities were a teenager's priorities, then. Having fun, in all its forms. Cheap beer, Goldeneye, D&D, ARMA, and girls. Okay, that's a lie. From his youth, Maria was a pretentious prick. Because, fuck bad beer and the idiots who drink it. They're enabling that fuckery, is what they're doing.

Even then, he'd already developed a taste for local microbrews with things like grapefruit peel and hint of hazelnut. The hazelnuts return later, don't worry. His appetites led him to creating stuff that satisfied him, and the job that he got when his parents lost their jobs helped. Even if being a short-order cook for some shitty ass chain restaurant sucked. So, yeah, he wanted to be a cook. When he left the bleached halls of high school, he enrolled at a community college. Started a food blog, and criticized people better than him as a hobby.

Somehow, this led to him meeting a Harvard student and the dumbest asian he'd ever met. They became great friends, and in the middle of getting high and discussing the reasons why Emeril was for the uncouth masses, they decided they should be super-heroes. The other two had powers, and Maria had become proficient in beating the shit out of stuff with things, so it only seemed natural. In their stupor, they decided on modelling themselves after Akkadian gods. Unlike the series of decisions that have led to who they are as adults, this was one case where a decision made under the influence was a shitty decision indeed.

Throughout college, their hilariously failed attempts at fighting crime became the butt of several youtube videos and evening jokes. They made several contacts in the supe community, but apart from that, the years spent as super-heroes was largely a comical flop. Maria graduated with a degree in culinary arts, going on to work for several popular (but critically disparaged) restaurants along the way. He had a falling out (code words for 'flew into a maniacal rage that he's lucky he didn't get sued and/or arrested for') with several bosses over the role of chocolate-hazelnut spreads in fine cuisine. Six years after they started wearing masks, they stopped. There's only so many years of failure that you can laugh off, after all, and it remains a touchy point for Maria. He moved back to Lotus City and built a business, first with his crowning achievement- Peak, and then with the Pub, which they built to fill a unique niche.

Now, life's all about good food, good drinks, and good times. Fuck anyone who doesn't know how to appreciate that. And fuck that twat Gordon Ramsay.

Personality

Abrasive, arrogant, and undoubtedly obsessive.

Masked Persona

Used to model himself after an Akkadian god. He did not use the sun-cow logo, though, preferring to use stylized scales as a logo - naturally emphasizing the deity's hold on judgement. Like the rest of that little experiment, he was an utter failure.

Traits

  • Strength: 2
  • Dexterity: 3 (4)
  • Constitution: 3
  • Intelligence: 3 (4)
  • Perception: 2
  • Willpower: 2

People

The high one.
The dumb one.

Recent Events

None yet.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License